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My life is a beautiful mess. Amongst the various clients that create the monthly job and paycheck I have a long list of other things going on every single day, week and month. I’ve heard many comment that all I do all day is write and how hard can that be? For a long time that use to offend me. They have no clue what my life entails and yet they make such a simple statement and think that of my life?
People can look at what you do and judge you in that moment without even realizing it. It’s those people that don’t have a clue what it is like to walk in your shoes just to get done the tasks for the week. On my things to do list are tasks as long as my arm and I am thankful if I can get a quarter of them done each week.
“The Fullness of life is incubated in its messy places.” – Amy Dickinson
Here’s how my week or month goes on a regular basis. Each morning when I awake I’m looking to see how my husband is doing that day. He has Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and depending on how it has touched him through the night determines what plans have to change on my list of things to do that day. There are days he awakes and he has terrible vertigo and can’t walk from the bedroom to the bathroom without assistance. Those days we carefully get him dressed and ready to go to the chiropractor in hopes they can adjust him and relieve this symptom so he can function that day. Some days he wakes and he is struggling to walk and again it’s a trip to the chiropractor in hopes this flare up is something they can help him with so he can function during the day. We have had times that he has to use a cane just for balance. Other moments he needs his walker to get from one area of the house to another. We have even had moments where he had to be in a wheelchair and that lasted up to a few months. My day fluctuates depending on how he wakes up. Regular doctor visits are added to each month with his regular doctor and neurologist who monitors his MS.
The next area that fluctuates from day to day is when my daughter gets up. She is mostly blind in one eye and with that happening being taught to do basic things over was a challenge. She drives, she cooks and does most of the items she needs on her own even with this one eye causing her a daily challenge. She sees five things due to that eye when she looks around. Then we have days where she gets up and her good eye is now fighting an infection and to keep her sight it’s an immediate trip to Vegas to see the eye specialist and to attack it with the strongest things they can get for someone’s eye. During these moments she can’t drive, can’t see to cook and so forth. The basics of life she is limited with accomplishing. The infection causes a blurry eye and the medications can add to that blurriness for a time. I then put on the chauffeur hat and take her to her regular appointments, take her to the store, and drop off and pick up the seven year old that attends school in our home. Something she handles most days since school started.
Some weeks both my husband and daughter have issues and I want to bang my head up against a wall. These health challenges affect my day and what I can get done. I end up juggling clients around their needs since I work from my home office to earn a paycheck each month and be here for them if they need me. I also juggle items for the church I attend and add them to my list each day to attempt to stay ahead of the things they need graphically, website, social, blogs and more. It’s after those things are completed that I can then take some time to write or edit my book. It’s after that I can take moments to create new designs (journals, sermon notes, address books, password books and more) for my journal company, Elf Owl Publishing.
“Delight in the messiness of life.” – Kara Tippetts
Each day is full of messiness but it’s all a beautiful mess. I am truly blessed by caring for my family even when it’s challenging. I am blessed by being with them another day. I am blessed that I can tend to their needs and make there life more comfortable. You cherish those moments because you don’t know how many more you will have. MS patients typically don’t pass away from the MS itself, it’s the medications and the side affects that can take place from the disease.
“The messiness of life makes the truly magnificent moments shine that much brighter.” – Unknown
You are right they don’t have a life threatening illness that could take them away in an instant. The difficult parts are when they talk about eye transplants, becoming paralyzed from the neck down, medications with such high deductibles that it’s as much as your house payment or more and these could be things they need. The worries of being able to care for them when you have a few of your own health issues. How do you spend some time on your own health to improve the quality of your life. Staying positive when there is so much negative around you each day is a challenge. Tossing humor at all situations in order to keep anxiety and worry down for them can also be a challenge. Being the constant cheerleader to keep them motivated and thriving with the things they would like to accomplish can be exhausting.
So when someone says all you do is write, I can’t help but to laugh at that. If I had time to only write then this year I would be releasing five or six books. The reality is I am working on the next one now and hope to have one more done by the end of the year. If it happens for me that way then I am truly blessed as these other areas of my life are more important. This is what I feel God is calling me to do. I have other ideas I feel he wants me to also begin doing and working that in to an already messy life is going to be interesting.
Life is messy. It’s a juggling act that seems to keep adding pins or plates for me to spin and toss all at the same time. When you have multiple talents you can be pulled in various directions based on who is around you at the time and who thinks you should be using them in a certain way.
Ultimately, you have to listen to what God wants you to do. First you need to earn a basic living to support your family, however that is done, a full time job, working from home, working part time or so forth. Second, you need to take care of the needs of your family, no matter what they may be. Some have illnesses that need you to tend to their needs. Some have disorders that prevent basic things from happening and you have to be supportive. It doesn’t matter the circumstance, you are the one that helps them.
Then there are the things you feel called to do beyond your family and job. Fitting those into a busy life can be challenging, but giving yourself some grace to get through each day based on what is the most important needs in that moment is vital. Show yourself some grace today! You are doing the best you can in those moments. Others don’t have to understand your life and how much of a beautiful mess it is. Only you and God need to know that you are doing your best each and every day to serve him and your families needs.
How to juggle a beautiful mess life:
1. Be honest with your priorities and the order they go. If your priority is helping others when your family needs you then its time to reevaluate things.
2. Know the top 3 items you must get done in that day. It doesn’t matter how small a task or how big a task, just getting that completed is the key. Put them in order of priority, one through three and tackle the first one on the list. If that is all you get done be proud of that one task being completed. Move on to the next major item tomorrow.
3. Have a close relationship with God. Stay in the word and pray. Then take moments to be still and just listen. It’s in those moments you hear ideas, direction, feel love, and joy in knowing you are doing what he wants in your life. It does not matter what others think. You need to understand that. If someone at church thinks you should be doing something but you know for a fact because of your close relationship with God that he doesn’t want you doing that right now then don’t. Don’t let them pressure you into something you aren’t feeling God wants right now. It could be a later, it could be not at all or it could be something you take on. Without that relationship you will only be reacting to the pressure and not doing what God wants in your life.
4. Don’t beat yourself up for not getting more done. Easier said than done. You are one person and you are juggling many things. As long as you did your very best each day you are doing enough.
5. Find encouragement of your own. This could be music, books, podcasts, video, movies, a friend, blog posts, a sermon or sitting in nature. You have to fill your cup with encouragement and motivation. If you are providing that to others you will need to get this regularly in some way to maintain that.
6. Accountability partner. It is good to have someone that knows what you are trying to accomplish, knows about your life’s beautiful mess and can push you when you feel like slacking off. This is important to help you when you are tired from the days other activities and you still need to put in some time on your goals. Knowing that person is expecting you to accomplish what you said you will is important for your own needs.
In conclusion, those of you wondering when the next book will be out. I shooting for late summer. Those of you that live messy lives will understand if it doesn’t come out at that time. The best thing you can do is be supportive of those around you when they too have a beautiful mess to manage and goals aren’t reached on certain days but they are moving forward just the same.
Who can you encourage today? Is their someone that you know with a messy life and has a dream they feel called to do but it’s not going as fast as they want? Be understanding, show support and encourage them to continue even if it’s slower than they would like. Maybe it’s you that has a messy life and are struggling to complete the things you feel called to do. Keep taking steps forward, no matter how small each week until you get there. Give yourself some grace due to the speed in which something is getting done. You haven’t stopped so give yourself some credit for striving forward in the midst of your messy but beautiful life. Enjoy the process and those moments that makes your heart fill with joy and shine bright.
Have you struggled with a messy life? In what ways do you encourage yourself or others? Leave a comment below letting me know how you press on with your beautiful mess of life. I’d love to hear from you.
Blessings,
Lisa